I have heard many people tell me over the last decade that they don’t like to meditate because they “can’t stop thinking” or “can’t focus” or “can’t quiet the mind”. You shouldn’t even try to do that. Minds think in the same way that rivers flow. It’s just what they do. Because I came into meditation via the mindfulness movement, I almost always meditate by following the breath. That’s what I focus on. Your goal, really, is to not get swept up in thoughts and to stay focused on the object of meditation (breath, here). A good first step down the meditation path is to be mindful of the times when you’ve stopped paying attention to your breath and do get caught up in thoughts. Many people feel like they are failing when they realize they’ve stopped focusing on the breath and got distracted. That’s the “can’t focus” bit above.
A thing that made a big difference for me at some point a few years back was to think of those moments as being part of a game. The goal is to be here, in the moment, not thinking about the past or future. When you realize that you’ve drifted off into some other time or place, that’s good. That means you’ve woken up from your reverie. You are here and now, right now. Instead of thinking of that as a failure to meditate, think of it as winning the game. You spend most of your life somewhere else, mentally. Every time you wake up to the fact that you’re somewhere else, focus back on your breath, and come to the present moment, you’ve won. If that happens to you 20 times in a 30 minute meditation, each one of those is a win. You’re not failing to “quiet the mind”. You’re waking up. Let those thoughts float on by. Rivers flow.
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